This weekend’s runs were just what I needed following a bad 20-miler the week before.

After carb-loading on Friday night with pizza at Grimaldi’s with Josh, my cousin, and cousin-in-law (I just like saying that); by the way, I think I have been carb-loading for the last eight months straight; I knew Saturday’s run was going to be a good one.

I had grand plans for Saturday – I wanted to sleep in past 6 or 7AM for the first time on a weekend in almost a month, eat breakfast casually, go for an easy 10-mile run, get a massage, and finally, work on my final research paper for a graduate class that I am taking for “fun” that was due at the end of the day. The day worked out perfectly!

I ran along the Hudson River on the New Jersey side; I figured 5-miles up and 5-miles back. The weather was gorgeous and not windy at all; I wore a t-shirt with tank underneath, shorts, and my hat. Lately, I have been using my heart rate as an indicator of pace and on this run, I did the exact same thing. My heart rate was averaging around 165 bpm the whole run, my stride felt comfortable, and my breathing felt strong. I finished 9-miles easily and knew that I had it in me to run more if needed. Instead, I sped up for the last mile pushing my heart rate closer to 170 bpm. After the run, I looked at average pace and it was slower than probably what I would have expected given the distance, but it was pretty darn close to marathon pace, so that was all I needed, an easy run at a pace that I could potentially hold for 26-miles.

This run reminded me of why I fell in love with distance running last year and why I am still on this journey. This was the exact run I needed coming off of the crappy feelings I had from last weekend’s 20-miler and the runner’s high I needed to head into the New Jersey Marathon mentally sound and strong.

That high carried me into Sunday for the 4-mile NYRR Run as One race in Central Park. I was anxious about this race for over week. I was worried about the distance, not because I wouldn’t finish it, but how to pace it. The last time I raced a short distance was Coogan’s 5K in March but I knew that was a hilly course so I didn’t think too much of it. Run as One was different because it was in Central Park and I know the course like the back of my hand. I was overly worried about going out too fast and then not be able to sustain it. 4-miles is just too long of a race to sprint completely but too short of a distance where you need to be conservative.

I could barely eat Sunday morning and I was so anxious on the way into the city that I played Nothing’s Gonna Stop Us Now recorded by Starship on repeat the whole way. Music has a way of doing that to me – helping me tune out my emotions. It wasn’t until I made it to Columbus Circle that I finally calmed down a little. As I was walking out of the subway, I stared into the sun coming over Columbus Circle and Central Park and at that moment, I realized how lucky I was to be able to run regularly in arguably the best city in the world, so why am I freaking myself out. After meeting up with my teammate and New Jersey Marathon training partner, we headed into park for bag drop (which is so smooth now with the new clear bag process, it stinks though that it was implemented due to the events in Boston) and into our corrals. The horn went off, 7-minutes later, I was on my way. I spent the first mile dodging people so I was pretty surprised that I ran a sub 8:45 mile. As soon as I had my groove, I just went; I tried not to look at my pace on my watch too much but instead just focused on my heart rate. It stayed around 172 to 178 bpm the whole race and while it felt hard especially during the uphills, I knew I could sustain it for the distance. To me this was just a really long speed workout with no recovery in the middle. It wasn’t until I crossed the finish line and looked at the elapsed time on my watch that I knew I did pretty well. My watch recorded 4.06 miles (I think I’m getting better at running tangents!) in 34:33 with an average pace of 8:30 per mile. I don’t think I believed I actually ran that fast until the official results were posted on the NYRR site showing that I ran the 4-miles in 34:31 with an average pace of 8:38 per mile.

This was the first time I raced 4-miles so I had no real comparison except that almost exactly a year ago, I raced a 5-miler in Hoboken through a fairly hilly course up to Stevens. In that race, my pace was 10:38 per mile. A year later and I realize a shorter distance, I ran 2-minutes faster per mile. Training really pays off, huh?

Enough tooting my own horn, but this weekend was exactly what I needed. The runner’s high, the excitement of running, and the results to show that time and dedication I am putting in is paying off. I am excited for my last week of tapering, but I know that I will be anxious all over again Saturday night into Sunday morning so I will just try to soak up these happy thoughts as much as I can now.

P.S. As many know, there is a proven theory that Josh gets sick after he exercises. It started with him going to the gym with our friend, D in college many years ago to the Wii Fit episode, there are a number of examples. However, he has been running off and on with me over the last couple of months and has been fine. This past week, completely on his own initiative decided that he wanted to go for a run after work. Unfortunately, I couldn’t go with him, but he still went. I was very proud of him. The next day, he got sick. So I am revising my theory now, it is not when he exercises with me, it is when he exercises without me that he gets sick! I am happy to report that he is feeling better today.

P.P.S. Another theory, my cousin (Margaret) and her husband, my cousin-in-law (Drew) who I mentioned eating pizza with on Friday run a lot in Hoboken and they are always wondering when they will run into me. Today, we ran into each other on our runs! I am proving that I actually do run in Hoboken! I am disappointed that I didn’t run further than 0.25 miles with them, but next time, I will go for longer, I promise… don’t want to add extra miles during taper week!

Do you have pre-race jitters? What do you do to overcome this?

Literally.

This past Saturday was our longest run before tapering for the NJ Marathon. We met up with the NY Flyers (a running group in NYC) to join their Unity Run for Boston and then figured we would run the remaining distance to get to 20 miles. It was so powerful to see such a large sea of yellow and blue all huddled together at 8AM on a Saturday morning to run for Boston. As a group, we conquered the bridle path in Central Park and my teammates and I ended up running it twice plus a lower loop and by the time we left Central Park to head South towards East River Park, we already had 8+ miles under our belt. Thank goodness for that because that is when I mentally broke down.

We exited Central Park on 59th Street and ran East to 1st Avenue and then South to 37th Street and the entrance of the East River Park running / biking path. The plan was to run the additional mileage along the tip of Manhattan and come back north along the Hudson River to 57th Street. As soon as we hit the 10-mile mark, I knew that I was going to struggle the rest of the distance, however, I kept telling myself to truck along. No matter how slow I was going, as long as I complete the miles, that was all that would matter. Mentally, I was falling apart. All I could think about was how I wanted to “retire” from marathon running after the NYC Marathon in November and that I didn’t want to train so much anymore. By the time I was at the 13th mile, I was almost at the South Street seaport and running underneath the FDR and that is when it happened. A big warm glob dropped on me. I think for a split second, I thought it was rain but when I turned to look over my shoulder, I knew it was bird crap.

Crap. That is what I get for thinking about crap on my run. I deserved it. I was talking about hating birds and pigeons earlier in the week (and they heard me!). On the run, I was thinking about how I didn’t want to do another run longer than 16 miles again (16 is arbitrary but it’s because I actually enjoyed my 16-mile run last weekend). Again, this was another one of those runs where I knew physically I could do it, but mentally, I didn’t have it. Needless to say after getting crap all over my shirt and back, the run did not get any better. I ended up stopping a couple miles later to pick up a bottle of water to dump down my back in hopes of washing away some of the crap, but it didn’t help. My shirt was soaked and I was just cold and wet the rest of the run. By the time I finished, I knew that this was one of the worst ways to start the taper period.

I need to find a way to bounce back. I had another early morning and long day on Sunday at a work event and by the time I got home last night, I felt like crap. I was tired, cranky, and just felt drained physically and mentally. Reflecting on the last 10 months of marathon training, I think I am officially burned out. As a newbie runner, that is a hard thing for me to acknowledge; I always thought I was going to want to run every day forever and ever. The NJ Marathon will be the third one (with two half marathons in between) I run in a six month period with only about a month of rest in December due to my injury. More than anything I am looking forward to not having to follow a training schedule after May 5th until mid-June when NYC training starts up again. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t hate running. I just need some time away from having to run on a structured schedule.

I write this post in hopes that I remember how I felt this weekend and in hopes that will help clear my mind for the two week taper. I know that I can’t help myself to want to do more. It is not in my nature to relax and rest. As it is, I want to go to barre tonight and run afterwards, but I had to remind myself that I am in rest mode. I also know that no matter the outcome of the race, I will want to sign up for more and push myself even though I need the time off. That will be the adrenaline and type-A personality speaking. I hope reading back on this and the reminder from my friends and family will help me have a restful taper so I can go into the race strong physically and mentally and then take some well deserved time off.

How do you overcome your running blues? Do you ever feel like you’re burned out from running?