I have a problem. I beat myself up too much. I had a great week in running last week – fairly strong mile repeats, pace run with sprint intervals, drop back long run but still managed to squeeze in my highest mileage week so far this training season.

team before mile repeats

Even a rainy long run through Summer Streets couldn’t keep us down!

Then I went to work on Monday. I have been stressed at work. Stress is actually a word we try not to use on our team but I was (and am) definitely feeling it. After work Monday, I went on an easy run on the treadmill followed by a barre class. My body felt extremely creaky the whole run. It wasn’t exactly aches and pains, but just discomfort.

I felt fine yesterday but it was definitely a worst day at the office. I left work late and felt defeated getting ready to head out to meet the team for practice. We had our monthly installments of reservoir loops in Central Park and I just let the overflow of the S-word from the office get the better of me. I already dislike the reservoir loops mainly because you can never figure out where the end is (in my opinion, 1.55 miles is too long of a loop!) and since it’s timed, I feel added pressure of beating my previous results. I felt completely off during the workout; I was beat after the warm up, my breathing during the loops felt out of whack, and I honestly couldn’t stop complaining. I ended up only completing two of the three loops we were supposed to do. In short, I was a poor, poor sport and not a team player. Crazy thing is that my times were actually about 10 -15 seconds faster than last month (12:31 – 8:04 min/mile and 12:28 – 8:02 min/mile), so imagine how much better I could have done had I had my mind in the game.

the look of defeat for the reservoir loops

I need to learn to compartmentalize. I need to remember to leave work at work and running with running. The runs should be a way to escape the pressures of work, not add to them. And vice versa.

In the middle of the night last night, I woke up with pain in the muscle left of my knee (I wish I had the technical term for this!). It was throbbing pain for the last couple hours of sleep. This morning before work, I iced it and took an ibuprofen. The pain eventually subsided a bit but I still feel a strain every time I walk especially when I am going up or down stairs. I was beating myself up all day about having to miss my evening workout. More than anything I wish I could have run and go to a barre class, but I knew it wouldn’t be smart. So instead, I stayed late at work to finally take some items off my to-do list and I have more free time to blog now!

Running has been my therapy in many ways and I need to continue to remember to think of it that way, whether it’s by freeing my mind of stressors from the day (compartmentalizing!) or remembering why I run in the first place.

so true!

How do you handle the S-word? Any tips and pointers would be appreciated 🙂