I have a problem. I beat myself up too much. I had a great week in running last week – fairly strong mile repeats, pace run with sprint intervals, drop back long run but still managed to squeeze in my highest mileage week so far this training season.
Then I went to work on Monday. I have been stressed at work. Stress is actually a word we try not to use on our team but I was (and am) definitely feeling it. After work Monday, I went on an easy run on the treadmill followed by a barre class. My body felt extremely creaky the whole run. It wasn’t exactly aches and pains, but just discomfort.
I felt fine yesterday but it was definitely a worst day at the office. I left work late and felt defeated getting ready to head out to meet the team for practice. We had our monthly installments of reservoir loops in Central Park and I just let the overflow of the S-word from the office get the better of me. I already dislike the reservoir loops mainly because you can never figure out where the end is (in my opinion, 1.55 miles is too long of a loop!) and since it’s timed, I feel added pressure of beating my previous results. I felt completely off during the workout; I was beat after the warm up, my breathing during the loops felt out of whack, and I honestly couldn’t stop complaining. I ended up only completing two of the three loops we were supposed to do. In short, I was a poor, poor sport and not a team player. Crazy thing is that my times were actually about 10 -15 seconds faster than last month (12:31 – 8:04 min/mile and 12:28 – 8:02 min/mile), so imagine how much better I could have done had I had my mind in the game.
I need to learn to compartmentalize. I need to remember to leave work at work and running with running. The runs should be a way to escape the pressures of work, not add to them. And vice versa.
In the middle of the night last night, I woke up with pain in the muscle left of my knee (I wish I had the technical term for this!). It was throbbing pain for the last couple hours of sleep. This morning before work, I iced it and took an ibuprofen. The pain eventually subsided a bit but I still feel a strain every time I walk especially when I am going up or down stairs. I was beating myself up all day about having to miss my evening workout. More than anything I wish I could have run and go to a barre class, but I knew it wouldn’t be smart. So instead, I stayed late at work to finally take some items off my to-do list and I have more free time to blog now!
Running has been my therapy in many ways and I need to continue to remember to think of it that way, whether it’s by freeing my mind of stressors from the day (compartmentalizing!) or remembering why I run in the first place.
How do you handle the S-word? Any tips and pointers would be appreciated 🙂